New baby, New feelings - Merton

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New Baby, New Feelings

Pregnancy and the period after childbirth are significant times of change in a person’s life. It is common for women and their partners to experience many different emotions during this time.

The general perception of new parenthood is that it is supposed to be one of the most exciting and happy experiences you’ll ever have. Sometimes, however, the reality is quite different from what you imagined.

Some women experience mental health problems in pregnancy or after birth. These can either be illnesses that women have had before or, for some women, it may be the first time they become unwell. Fathers can also experience many of the same mental health conditions during this time and should seek support in just the same way.

The Perinatal positivity website has some helpful resources and videos you might like to look at.

Why do I feel this way?

There are many reasons why you may experience feelings you hadn’t expected. Childbirth can leave you feeling exhausted and anxious and many parents struggle with the new set of demands a baby brings and the lack of independence and routine. Some babies are born prematurely or are unwell which may cause additional worry and other factors - such as lack of support, isolation, financial pressures or your own experience of being parented - may all affect how you feel. Hormonal and physical changes as well as a lack of sleep can also play a role.

Baby Blues

During the first week after childbirth, many women get what's often called ‘the baby blues’. Women can feel very emotional and may burst into tears for no apparent reason. Some women may also experience feelings of low mood but this is very common and should resolve within a few weeks. If these feelings are lasting for longer please do speak to your Health Visitor or GP.

Anxiety and Posnatal Depression

Anxiety and depression are very common in pregnancy and postnatally.

Symptoms might include:

  • Not being able to enjoy your baby as you expected
  • Feeling anxious most of the time
  • Feeling unable to sleep even when the baby sleeps or feeling like you are sleeping too much
  • Excessively worrying about yourself or your baby leading to feelings of panic
  • Not being able to look forward to things
  • Feeling low or a loss of confidence
  • Changes in appetite
  • Poor concentration
  • Lack of energy or feeling unable to relax
  • Thoughts about harming yourself or your baby

Postpartum Psychosis

Postpartum Psychosis is a very rare but severe episode of mental illness which begins suddenly in the days or weeks after having a baby. Women with a history of severe mental illness (especially Bipolar Disorder), or a family history of mental illness around childbirth are at increased risk, but it can happen to any woman. Symptoms vary and change rapidly but can include: feeling manic, excessively energetic and talkative, being restless, agitated, withdrawn, being very confused, unable to sleep, having racing thoughts, feeling paranoid and suspicious, developing odd thoughts or beliefs and behaviour that is out of character.

It is a medical emergency and you should you should call 999 as soon as possible.

Difficult feelings about the birth

Some women may feel that they have had a traumatic birthing experience and for others pregnancy and childbirth can trigger difficult emotions that can be hard to manage. This is something you can discuss with your midwife or health visitor who can advise you regarding where to get further help.

What to do if you feel any of these things?

If you think you or someone you know could be experiencing a problem with their mental health, then it is important to talk about it and to get help.

Speak to a health professional - talk to your midwife, health visitor and GP. The more people who know how you’re feeling the more support you’ll receive. Midwives have specialist teams that can offer you pregnancy-specific support, health visitors can do additional visits as well as help support the parent-infant relationship and GPs can discuss different treatment options. If a postpartum psychosis is suspected this is an emergency and you should call 999.

What else can help?

Simple self-nurturing activities can also help you to feel better. Getting proper rest, eating healthily and regularly, and getting some exercise - even just a short walk - are all things that you can do to help protect your emotional health. Building supportive relationships with other local parents through antenatal groups or by accessing playgroups at the children’s centres can help you to feel less isolated and talking things over with a trusted person is also very important.

Be kind to yourself and don’t try to be a superhero. Ask for help if you need it and accept as much practical support as possible during the first few weeks. Remind yourself regularly of the new skills you have learned as well as other talents you have and reward yourself when you have done something successfully.

Health Visitors will be asking about your mental health at every contact. If you are struggling with your mental health then your health visitor can offer you additional home visits to support you with this. These are called motional wellbeing visits and they are an opportunity for you to express how you are feeling without judgement.

If you require further support then your health visitor can advise you about additional services and refer you to them. In some cases, your health visitor may also suggest a referral to the specialist perinatal mental health team. If you wish, your health visitor can work together with these other teams to provide you with effective, coordinated care.

We provide advice and support to all Merton families in the antenatal period, following birth of a baby and up until that child is 5 years old.

Merton 0-19 Integrated Single Point of Access (SPA)

If you would like to enquire about emotional wellbeing visits or want information about other services you can speak to a member of our duty team or request to be contacted by your allocated health visitor.

Your health visitor may suggest putting time aside to discuss what concerns you might have about your emotional wellbeing. These can also provide you with time to talk through how you and your family are adjusting to having a new baby. If you feel listening visits would be beneficial please get in touch with your health visitor.

SWL St George’s Specialist Community Perinatal Mental Health Team

The service works with women who are either pregnant or in the first year following the birth of their baby and present with moderate to severe mental health problems or with high risk factors for perinatal mental health problems due to past history or family history. Women with known history of mental illness on psychotropic medication are eligible for pre-conception counselling and advice.

The team includes psychiatrists, psychologists, mental health nurses, nursery nurses, an occupational therapist and a social worker.

Your GP or Health Visitor can refer you to the service or you can call 0203 513 6577 (Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm) to discuss with the team directly.

Website: SWL St George's Mental Health - Perinatal Mental Health Service

Chelsea and Westmintser Hospital Digital Living Library

This is a peer support programme for parents who have faced unexpected birth experiences/challenges. This is currently available through video/audio services and is not postcode based. Find out how to access support from the digital living library here find out how to support other parents here

Providing feedback on our services

It is important for us to hear what you think of our services so that we know what we are doing well and where we need to make improvements. Whether you wish to pay us a compliment, raise a concern or make a formal complaint, our patient advice and liaison service (PALS) team are here to help and all feedback given will be kept confidential.

You can find out more about how to provide feedback here.

If you would like to complete a patient story please speak to the team CLCH health team. Patient stories are a chance for you to share more information about your experiences of being cared for by our services. We collect patient stories in multiple different ways including videos, written stories, pictures and conversations with you that we then type. 

Contacting our PALS team

  • Telephone: 0800 368 0412
  • Email:
  • Post: PALS team, Central London Community Healthcare NHS Trust, 5-7 Parsons Green, London, SW6 4UL

Providing feedback on this website

We want this website to be helpful to you and your family and welcome feedback on how we can improve it. If you spot anything that's incorrect, confusing or have suggestions for how we can make it better please email us on this mailbox will be checked weekly and should not be used for urgent or clinical requests.

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