Staff Story: Learning how to ask for help

Staff Story: Learning how to ask for help

This year’s World Mental Health Day (WMHD) took place on 10 October with the theme ‘Mental Health is a Universal Human Right’. Every year this global campaign aims to raise awareness, create opportunities for positive change and give people a space to consider their own mental health and wellbeing.

Following on from WMHD, Jake Edwards, Communications Assistant at CLCH, shares his story to help continue raising awareness about mental health, and the importance of asking for help.

“I have struggled with mental health for as long as I can remember. I recall being a very sad child, hiding the fact that I would keep myself up at night crying and turning to various unhealthy coping mechanisms. When I was 13, I thought I was depressed, and that this was a permanent condition that nothing could remedy.

“As I got older, I began tiptoeing towards help. In my teens I would act out so people would offer me a space to talk about what was troubling me. I soon learned that that was not a reliable method, and that if I wanted help I just had to ask, and people would come running. I believe that I acted out because I learned from a young age that I couldn’t always trust the people I should be able to trust – I was let down by caregivers in unforgivable ways and it hurt me deeply. But I kept trying.

“People say that trust is earned. People must demonstrate that they can be trusted. But what’s missed when it comes to asking for help, is learning how to trust yourself. I went through a process of learning to trust that I could share my problems and survive whatever the reaction was. Sometimes very well-meaning people can still say hurtful or unhelpful things when you’ve opened up, and sometimes not being ready for that reaction can damage your trust in yourself – your trust that you can handle it.

“These days, with the help of therapy, I’ve learned the value of telling people what I need when sharing. Some days I’ll just need a hug, but other days I want advice or validation or just to be listened to. There is so much value in stating these desires when asking for help, because it gives both parties the opportunity to manage expectations and makes room for your needs to be met without the clumsiness of assumption.

“I feel the need to acknowledge that therapy is a real privilege, and I’m grateful that I’m able to access that service. But there are many ways to ask for help. I found therapy when I was in crisis and simply couldn’t handle my feelings anymore, but you don’t have to wait for the breaking point before you reach out.

“Maybe you’ve had a few weeks at work where every task has felt harder than normal. Perhaps you go home and you’re not enjoying your rest time. Sunday evenings might be filled with anxiety. You deserve to be helped, and you can take the first step by reaching out and asking for support. It is also very normal to not know what kind of help you want but the first step is talking about it.

“Trust that you have the strength to speak up.”

Find support with your mental health:

-          BetterHealth – this website offers NHS supported resources.

-          Find an NHS talking therapies service.

-          Mind – a mental health support charity.

-          Mental Health Matters – a charity that provides mental health support for individuals and communities.